Wednesday, October 21, 2009

You don't need a plastic plant...

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I spent the night with EBay. Again.
Really, even I have to admit that this one is getting a bit out of hand. But I can't stop. Last night I was bidding on cashmere anything (which is perfectly understandable right?) but the night before it was Artificial Replica Plants. I currently have no less than 5 in my "watching summary". Only the fact that the postage from Australia is a tad high, is stopping me from buying them outright.
And the interesting thing is, once I get onto a particular category, say Leopard Animal Print Scarves or "Punk rock funky arm warmers goth emo cyber gloves", I tend to obsess and buy uhm, more than one. Ok the last two purchases were for Dyl, as were the "Gothic Rave Black shiny HOLE Leggings Pants Punk J25". But does it really count if its not for me??? I am not the one who needs the 4 pairs of headphones(Sennheiser/$10). It's the kids, I mean, its my duty to buy them necessities. No?


The problem is with the husband. BPO is starting to get seriously upset ask questions. As soon as I close the deal and pay, he knows it instantly. Comes right into his mailbox as it is HIS Pay Pal account. Shite. I was pondering this dilemma at about 2 am and came up with an eureka moment. Wait for it... don't pay for them individually. Turns out that I can buy different items from many vendors and then pay for them all at once, at the end. One Pay Pal charge. Ok, so that is resolved.







I was lucky last night though, I was outbid on a black Pierre Cardin 100% cashmere sweater, Just in time. Who needs a short sleeved sweater here in Israel, and XL is not my size.
Oh, and just to explain: the fake plants will not be IN the house, that is just tacky. They are for filling in the dead spaces in the yard, that the cats have ruined. Makes perfect sense. So should I get them?


PS: If anyone knows what is a Cyber Glove is, please fill me in?

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Next time you are on a reality show- DO NOT sing.

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So, the TV crew came and went. And seeing as this is a Note To Self I will say it again: next time do not sing! You are welcome to read hubby's blog for all the gory details, but at this point, I am just mortified at what embarrassing things they will actually show. I mean, what were we thinking for goodness sake.
They loved Dyl, she was really cool. Peter's black cupboard was riveting. They are going to have to put in subtitles, cause the Boychild only spoke English. Our neighbor Eddie was no help with the Trumpledores arm question and I didn't even know he lost one.
All in all, the whole thing was totally fascinating.It's amazing how many people and camera's and hidden directors, with microphones kept popping out of the place.


So, I am now obsessing wondering: how many people actually watch Arutz 10? None of us watches TV at all, so for sure WE wont see it. Or maybe no one will tune in for the whole month of November, think that's possible?
Please God, and I mean this, pleeeeease have them cut out the singing bits. In fact, why don't you have them scrap the whole show- cause I may not be able to go out in pubic ever again- Ugh. Thanks.





Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Don't let the TV lady in the house, no matter how cute she is.

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Apparently, we are going to be on Television! Maybe. And a reality show at that. Us, the Family of Black. S'trues God. Some day over the next week or possibly 2, there may be a knock on the door and a crew of TV like people, camera's et al, will descend upon us. Not sure how we got involved in all this (well it did have to do with a lovely young lady who knocked on our door a few weeks back) but there is apparently a cash prize and we are amazingly idiosyncratic perfect she said.  I cannot divulge the network or the show, but it should be interesting.

Now, I do see a few minor problems with this whole deal. 

1- The house will have to be tidy at all times. Serious stress. ugh.

2- I don't want to gross anyone out, so Dyl is going to have to clean the cat box everyday, righhttt, and her room, no easy feat.

3- Aunty Netta's big antique wardrobe, that is currently causing a "ferrible" in the extended family, can no longer stand by the front door until the issue is resolved.

4- We may actually have to all be home at the same time. Not an easy one for the Girl-Child, who by the way, is going to have to dress in her best Goth, just in case.

5. The Boy speaks almost no Hebrew, and what he does, is with a Russian accent at that. Go and know- I am fascinated to see how they will deal with it.

6. We may have to be nice to each other. No shouting. What a concept.


7. This is a biggie- what will we say if they ask us questions about the Ach Hagadol (Big Brother- Israeli version) or Hisardut (Survivor-Israeli version)? Hopefully the girl will have a clue, as the rest of us watch NO TV AT ALL.

8. And the most worrying problem of all is what will I feed the crew?

Will keep you posted.


Friday, October 9, 2009

I Can't Win

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I cannot help myself, I just have to reply to my husbands rant about me on his 80% Blog.
For the last 3 days, I have manically been sorting out the house. My Clutterholic confession in an earlier blog really shamed me to the core- so I decided to tidy up.
Our Tami 4 water machine arrived and needed some place on the counter-top, so I took it as a great opportunity to clean out the kitchen. I went through all 2 of the drawers, and tossed out some of the items I don't need (breathe..breathe...). I moved all the coffee/tea supplies to the closet above the Tami 4 and cleaned out at least another 5 cupboards. This is hard for me you know. Really.

Next day, I organized my office and I must say, it looks awesome. One of these days I will get to my +200 cookbooks, but I can't do everything.
So, yesterday, I bit the bullet and tackled the spare room. Now you should know, one cannot walk into that room. Period. It is the family garbage dump for the whole house. Blackpetero is constantly complaining about the mess, but just last week, HE dumped 4 (seriously) 4 garbage bags of blackdaughtero's shit in there, with nary a thought.
Poor blacknephewo, who has to sleep in that room when he visits from Tel Aviv, has had to gingerly climb over piles of stuff just to get to the bed. So it was time. I went through every piece of paper/school work that the kids have dumped in there for the last 9 years. I put all of Blacksono's old game boy, nintendo, game cube, playstation and xbox games into a giant box and returned them to his room. The consoles have not yet turned up, but am keeping an eye out. I consolidated about 8 drawers of unused beading supplies into one box, and hid the 60 balls of wool that I am currently not using. (its almost Winter so I will need to make a few scarves, right?). I returned the 4 bags of blackdaughtero's stuff to her room. Basically, I threw out 2 leaf and lawn sized garbage bags full of stuff, collected a box for charity, and 20 years of magazines are waiting for someone to deal with. (I just cannot- if I even look at them, I will keep them all).
By the end of the day, the room was lovely. The floor was entirely visible and all that was left was a box of art supplies, that I have yet to figure out where to put, a HUGE box of the husbands books and a collection of old eyeglasses.
Then I read BPO's blog this morning as well as his comments on MY last blog. I am dammed if I do and dammed if I don't. Who wears out of fashion glasses, even if there are 12 pairs? Seriously guys, I can't win.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I will NOT be an addict in my next life.

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Ok, I have to come clean. I am an addict. And I don't say that lightly. It seems that I have an "unhealthy obsession" to everything, well almost everything.  I used to think it was just Chocolate, but turns out I am overly enthusiastic about way more than high quality bittersweet chocolate that melts in the mouth. I can put back a few dozen chocolate covered caramel pecans in one sitting without batting an eyelid. Lindt chocolates make me weak at the knees, and thank God, my favorite chocolate is currently unavailable in this country- (Cadbury's with mint crispy bits inside. hmmmm.)

So- I'm Jo and I am a...
Shopaholic- Especially if things are on sale, that's for me. (Except MAC cosmetics,which never goe on sale, so I just have to avert mine eyes when walking passed.)  It doesn't actually matter what is on sale, as long as it IS (On Sale). Those red stickers at Target are my downfall. Luckily, I could never afford expensive designer shit so I have to make do. Lately, I spend my time on Amazon and E-bay, and hope that Blackpetero does not notice what goes on with the PayPal.

Clutterholic/- I just cannot keep things organized and I have a really hard time throwing things out. I have papers from 10 years ago and every single drawing my kids ever made.
I also forget where I put things and its almost impossible to find anything in the mess. I once lost the cordless phone and someone found it in the freezer next to the dark chocolate premium Ice- cream bars. hmmmm.


Nicotine Addict- this is a big one. And pretty much caused me to be an alcoholic, as I convinced myself that I could not have a ciggie with out a drink. How's that for logic, after 15 yrs of being Nicotine Free. 


Computer Addict- Seems I have a problem with all things media related. Apparently this is a huge problem, and there are whole websites and organizations to deal with compulsive computer use. According to hubby, I have already filled about 1 terabyte of hard disk space with Pure Blood, QAF, Dexter, Top Chef .......Wait, this is way  too incriminating, so will stop right there. My Facebook and email are checked on average every 5 minutes, and if I am away from my computer for more than an hour or so, I start to hyperventilate.


I drink at least 8 cups of Caffeinated beverages per day, and have just discovered Diet Coke. Really, I used to hate that stuff, until I gave up Alcohol, now I cannot get enough.
My daughter told me yesterday, that she thinks I am a Workaholic, but I totally disagree. I am A.D.D, so when I focus on something, I superfocus. Oh and BPO complains that I play way too much Online Scrabble with Alon. So,what of it?  I have a few more minor addictions that I cannot reveal, as I do not want to corrupt the youth, so will leave it at that. Wait, do Shoes and Bags deserve their own category? And what about Wool? Bet there is no 12 step program for that one. Last time I was in Houston, I bought approx 60 balls of different colored wool/yarn from Michaels, it was on sale, and oh so pretty. Hubby was not happy as it filled the extra suitcase I had to go out and buy.
And besides- I don't even KNIT.
Need I say more? 




ps: My son doesn't notice much of anything, he is too busy playing video games- the apple does not fall far...

pss: I would like to thank my Higher Power for not introducing me to Crack cause that would really suck.

About Me

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I am not really mental. Just a tad A.D.D. Have no memory at all. Somewhat Bi-Polar. Apparently Co-Dependent. (but working on it :-) Oh, and Addicted to Anything Good. No kidding.